Leadership shows up in how you listen, how you communicate, and how you choose to influence the space you’re in — long before it shows up in a title. It starts with self-awareness and the ability to adapt to the people around you.
In his latest DevelopU thought piece, mentor Scott Inverarity brings this idea to life, sharing practical lessons from his own career on switching “hats,” building trust, and showing up with intention.
How your career evolved + an early insight about stakeholders
One of my earliest insights about working with stakeholders came when I transitioned from being an employee to becoming a business owner. I joined a colleague as a partner in what had been a sole trader business, and we then brought in a third partner. Although the three of us had equal voting rights, we all had slightly different roles.
The original owner remained the Managing Director, while the other two of us stepped into senior leadership roles.
I still remember a specific Board meeting where we were debating whether to make a purchase. I made the discussion personal instead of objective — I confused my hats. I forgot that we each wear different hats in these situations: sometimes you’re the decision maker, sometimes the adviser, sometimes just a contributor — and you need to know which one you’re wearing and switch consciously.
That experience really shaped how I think about being stakeholder savvy. Managing relationships well is as much about managing yourself as it is about managing others. Influencing people isn’t just about what you say — or don’t say — but how you say it, when you say it, and how well you listen in return.
The more you understand your own strengths, blind spots, and natural style, the better you can adapt, build trust, find common ground, and create strong, authentic relationships with the people who matter most to your work.
So, make it a priority to know yourself. Seek feedback from people you trust — inside and outside of work. Take time to reflect; sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is pause and think honestly. Tools like personality profiles, Hogan assessments or 16 Personalities can help too. The goal isn’t to fix every weakness — it’s to know them, play to your strengths, and stop doing what doesn’t serve you well.
When you understand how to be at your best for yourself, you can show up at your best for others — and that’s the foundation of earning trust and building lasting stakeholder relationships.
Managing up and across as you progressed
As a leader — and remember, you don’t need a title to lead — every one of us can lead from wherever we sit. The way you act, behave, and engage with others is leadership in itself.
Managing people and outcomes is part of what we all do, but how you do it often determines whether it’s a smooth road or a hard slog.
Firstly — if it feels hard, that’s okay. Sometimes it just is hard. But lean in and embrace it — because once you start, you’re already closer to finishing.
When I look back at the times I’ve felt I was successful — or at least when the outcome was successful — it usually came down to how I engaged with people. Taking the time to really understand what matters to them. What keeps them up at night. Noticing if they’re not at their best — and remembering that sometimes people have a backstory you can’t see.
And sometimes you won’t have the power to directly influence a stakeholder — but you always have control over how you turn up. You can be part of the solution. Take respectful initiative. Communicate clearly. Work in a ‘no surprises’ way — that’s something senior leaders really value. And if it’s hard? That’s okay. Lean in — and remember there are people around you who want to help.
You’ll often be remembered more for how you acted than what you delivered. Senior leaders genuinely want you to thrive — but they also want you to respect the space they’re giving you. And you get to shape that space by how you show up.
We — the ones with a few more battle scars — have made far more mistakes than you have yet. And we want to help you make new mistakes — not the same old ones we did!
A big part of being at your best is helping each other be at their best too. I remember during COVID — yes, we’re still talking about it — one of the most powerful things I did was admit to my team that I was worried too. That little bit of vulnerability opened the door for others to be honest. And when people felt safe to share, we could actually help each other move forward.
So don’t underestimate the power of showing up, leaning in, and leading by how you are with people.
Evolving relationships as they grow
When I look back, I don’t think my core approach to building trust and managing stakeholders has fundamentally changed — but it has matured over time.
These days, I’m slower to respond — whether it’s in person or over email. I value what I have to say, but I also ask myself: ‘Does what I’m about to say or write help, or does it hinder?’
I listen more — not just to the words, but to what’s important to the other person. I try to listen to really hear, not just so I can jump in or repeat something back — unless I need to clarify.
I make sure others have space to speak, and to feel heard. A big part of my role now is managing that space — empowering real conversation and encouraging contribution.
Another thing that’s become clearer with time is understanding my own values — what really matters to me, and why. Often that clarity comes from what we’ve seen and experienced along the way.
One idea I talk about a lot is enhancing mana. It’s about respecting and uplifting another person’s spirit — their wairua — and making sure that nothing you do diminishes them. It’s not just something to bring out in a tough situation — it’s an everyday practice.
And the last piece I want to leave you with is this: embrace your imperfectness. Be kind to yourself. Love who you are. Celebrate what went well — and just learn from everything else.
Author
Scott Inverarity
Emerging Leaders Programme Mentor 2025 / DevelopU Working Group Member and Principal, Buchan
Scott has some 30 years’ experience working across commercial, retail, hospitality, health, aged care, civic, heritage and sport sectors. As project lead, Scott is highly experienced in coordinating the collaborative efforts required to achieve successful project outcomes. In particular, balancing complex stakeholder and specialist needs to facilitate their contributions on the design journey. Scott’s approach to achieving outstanding design solutions is through problem-solving and fostering a strong sense of teamwork across the project teams he leads.
About the programme
The Emerging Leaders programme is a dynamic experience that combines proven leadership strategies with mentorship from experienced industry professionals, empowering mentees to grow and excel in their careers.
The 2026 programme offers:
- An immersive in-person Emerging Leaders Training Day in Auckland on 20 April 2026.
- Regular individual meetings with an experienced industry mentor committed to your success. Emerging Leaders and mentors will be paired for the year to enable a robust and enduring professional relationship.
- Three interactive online ‘ELP Exchange’ sessions designed to share insights from property professionals and foster meaningful communication and networking among peers.
- A half-day Leadership Workshop and wrap-up celebration.
Applications close at 5:00 pm, Friday 27 February 2026 and has a limited intake of just 20 emerging leader and mentor pairs.
Apply for the Emerging Leaders Programme 2026
Become the leader you strive to be with our property-specific mentoring programme, offering continuous improvement for the emerging leader.
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